


affections, torn

by a_wonderingmind



Series: Selected Affections [2]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Companion Piece, Episode Tag, F/M, Gen, and time travellers too!, aos 7x04 canon compliant, but he can't reach her this time, continuing alien shenanigans, daniel still misses his wife, oh my
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_wonderingmind/pseuds/a_wonderingmind
Summary: A continuation of the Affections universe; as far as we can call it that. A 7x04 companion piece, written before 7x05.Daniel contemplates perhaps the craziest day he's ever had.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa
Series: Selected Affections [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801873
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	affections, torn

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I really wanted to get this out before 7x05 airs, and I think I just squeaked in. It's 11pm here, so I think it's mid-afternoon over in the ol' US of A. 
> 
> Unbeta'd; we die like men.

His head felt like cotton wool. But it didn’t smell like a hospital in here. He took stock of his body. There was a dull pain in his chest, but all four (three?) of his limbs were still unhurt and intact. He was still wearing his prosthesis, in any case. He could feel the belt pressing in the slightly uncomfortable way it did when he wore it lying on his back. 

Cracking open one eye, it was unexplainably bright. The lights were more powerful than any fluorescent lights he’d ever seen, but it had a colder quality to it he couldn’t place.

Oh, right. He could place it. The quiet humming of engines confirmed it. He was back on the flying base of those agents, the ones who had tech way beyond Stark.

They must have used it on him, too; he distinctly remembers turning a corner to their deadpan faces and getting shot in the stomach. But his stomach was not complaining the way Jack’s surely had. Some tech indeed.

Other memories of the day began to surface.

_“...melted like the wicked witch of the East,”_

The snappy correction had barely been comforting. So not out of the new KGB forces, then. Could be Leviathan old guard still. Or HYDRA. He hadn’t even wanted to contemplate what that could have meant if that particular scenario was true. He had had to get the package to the handoff, and this guy seemed to know more than he was letting on. If he was name dropping Stark he had _something_ up his sleeve. He thought it best to play along. He definitely hadn’t been happy about it though.

_“Similar story.”_

And it had almost ended like Coulson’s story as well. God, that had been a long month. Polite and restrained at work, hard conversations and bared souls in the evening. His fears of never being enough had collided with Peg’s (nobly intentioned) need to keep everyone she loved safe, and a blurted marriage proposal had pulled the rug from under his feet.

His attempts to keep his conversation partner on his toes had only been half successful, though judging by the rescue his contacts mounted, they had all been nimble enough.

_... or a plane on a plane before, for that matter.”_

As he descended the ramp, he had tried to hide a smile at how, in his mind's eye, he could see Howard’s face light up at all the new toys, his pompous ass-ery deigning to give an explanation to his companions on how advanced this all was, in ways no layman could understand.

He hadn’t liked the situation at all. He had been trapped in the air, with people who were shifty about their identities and in all other regards rather un-forthcoming. It didn’t help that one of them had tried to impersonate Peg. He tried to seem friendly; there was no point stirring up any suspicions.

_I think S.H.I.E.L.D. has been infiltrated... by HYDRA._

He hadn’t known why he’d said it. He definitely hadn’t trusted them. But they seemed to have a similar goal to him, aside from keeping him alive. Their reaction had been the only one he hadn’t anticipated. It was confusing, and had only increased his need to run.

And they had told him about Malick too. Damn everything that he wasn’t allowed to do anything. If he hadn’t wanted off before that, at that point it had been imperative that he escape. Screw their timeline. SHIELD couldn’t be crippled. He wouldn't let it.  


_“It’s time to let me outta this plane, my drop’s at nine,”_

Yeah, and the rest of my life after that, he had thought, kicking off from the motorcycle. He had had no idea how he was gonna do it, but he knew he needed to tell Peg, and they’d work it out together, he’d been sure. 

And then they’d caught up with him and he had got himself shot.

He groaned as his core protested him using the weight of his leg to roll himself off the gurney. Balancing himself, he placed the other foot and looked around. Definitely the flying base. He straightened his jacket, trying to make sure he didn’t look as unstable as he felt.

One of the guys, Coulson, was standing at the door.

“What did you shoot me with?” he asked, wincing at how raspy he sounded.

“An ICER. It… hasn’t been invented yet.” Of course.

He glared at the man, trying to process what he just said, when the logo behind him caught his eye.

“SHIELD?”

Coulson turned, and then looked back at him. “Future SHIELD. We're in a fight against body-snatching robots from another planet who want to wipe us out and take the Earth.” 

He raised an eyebrow. 

“That melting man you saw was one of them.”

Coulson held out his cane to him. He eyes it, and then him, carefully. He took the olive branch. “Why didn't you lead with that?”

“Do I really have to answer?” There was a pinched humor in his tone. If he hadn’t just shot him, Sousa had the distinct feeling he would like the guy.

“You'd be surprised with what I've seen.” Time travelling alien robots had nothing on the interdimensional rift that had defined much of his early career.

“I sort of doubt that.”

He rubbed his head. It was beginning to feel less like it was stuffed like a teddy bear.

“We weren’t sure how to handle your situation,”

“What’s my situation?” he rolled his head up, to find a vaguely sympathetic look on Coulson’s face. 

“You’re dead.”

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that.

“I don’t feel so hot, but I know I’m not dead.” Why was this a contestable point?

“Well, history says you are.”

He took a breath in. 

“You were shot after delivering that gadget. I can show you the files. You’re a hero. So…congrats. And condolences.” 

“I’m not dead!” He had a field office to run, a life. He had to get back out there...

“We didn’t change history. We just took you out of it. Faked your death. You’re alive, literally, but to everyone not on this plane, you’re dead. I’m sorry.”

He sank down, the enormity of it all washing over him. Oh, Peg. He’ll never see her again. She’ll never see him again.

“Welcome to life after death. I’ll tell you all about it.”

Somehow, he didn’t want to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> I don wike it. Leave my ship alone.
> 
> Join me! I'm also on tumblr at @a-wonderingmind !


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